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Sunday, 19 June 2016

Giveaway: Vevina
Anti-Chafing Cream

Around this time last summer I wrote a review of Vevina Anti-Chafing Cream and the lovely folks at Vevina gave 5 tubes away to some lucky readers. Well, they contacted me again recently to offer to give another 5 tubes away! Whoop whoop!

If you suffer from the dreaded 'chub rub' or any sort of chafing or sweat rash (under your breasts, between your thighs, under your buttocks, etc) then Vevina could be the product for you.

It looks like a hand cream, both in its packaging and consistency, but it's not greasy and won't leave any residue; simply apply to the areas needed and away you go!

Vevina is available to purchase directly via their website and is also now available on Amazon.

You can enter the giveaway via the widget below:

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Friday, 4 March 2016

Blogging is Not Your Friend

I really have no idea where I’m going with this, or if I’ll even publish it, so it’s probably not going to be my most polished piece of ‘work’ but hey, I can live with that. So, where do I start? Bloggers are not homogeneous; we are not all the same and, in fact, we’re not often alike, even though it may seem as though we are (both to ourselves and to others). Within the plus size bloggersphere, or fatosphere, it could be argued that it’s even more common to think that we are (homogeneous); particularly as a fat person wanting to form friendships with other fats.

I have formed many friendships since I started blogging, on various levels, and latterly I had (I thought) bonded strongly with a small group. Yes, had. It recently came to fruition that I did not share the same political and ethical beliefs as some of the other members and I opted to leave; my only other option being to (unjustifiably, in my view) explain my thoughts and actions to people who don’t see the world the same way that I do. Don’t get me wrong, I have friends whose opinions differ to or are not as strongly voiced as my own; but not friends that I speak to on a daily basis. I cannot ‘chat’ with people I fundamentally disagree with on a daily basis.

It’s not easy to realise that you essentially have nothing in common with the majority of the community that you’ve spent over 3 years of your life feeling a part of. When you realise that you can count your friends on your fingers, fashion for fashion’s sake doesn’t interest you anymore and brands won’t touch you with a 10ft bargepole, you start to wonder who or what you’re blogging for. You think, is there actually anything in this for me? Does anyone actually care what I say? Are people talking about me behind my back? Should I go to [insert event] when very few people actually want to see me and many will most likely go out of their way to avoid me? It’s not easy to realise that blogging and the bloggersphere/fatosphere is perhaps doing you more damaged than good, that constantly having to challenge others and be strong and defiant in both your body and your mind is taking its toll on your already weakened mental health.

I enjoy writing, but constantly pushing my work around in a responseless void is draining. I’m not recognised as body positive, radical or political. Yeah, I know this sounds very jealous/snarky/woe is me, but we all feel a bit like that and sometimes we have to acknowledge it. I’m neither nice enough, active enough nor fashionable enough to be recognised, and that’s fine, but if I can’t even get a handful of comments/responses I may as well be talking to myself, which is effectively what I’m doing right now. I’m talking to myself because very few people will actually listen, and then I don’t want to burden those that will with nonsensical drivel about ‘the internet’; which is what being a blogger boils down to, really, isn’t it? The internet. Dear WWW, unburden me, sincerely, one metaphorical small-fry.

Monday, 15 February 2016

Loveswap

Long time no blog! Something lighthearted and fun, for a change. A group of fellow fat babes and I, my galentines if you will, got together to arrange a loveswap for Valentine's Day. I haven't done a swap in a while (if ever, actually!) and I was keen to participate in this one, it being a difficult time of year for me for multiple reasons plus these babes are my bread and butter; I literally couldn't be without them and it's nice share things with them.

I held off opening mine until Valentine's Day itself, a fact I'm quite pleased of as I usually have zero will power or patience when it comes to these things! We'd agreed to put a card in so that people could find out who their swap/gifter was if they wanted to, although to be fair I think we all want(ed) to know anyway, plus I knew who mine was thanks to the preloved jiffy bag (you silly sausage lol!).











































Anyway, how flippin' awesome are these?! Thank you my dear, you know me so well! I really hope that my loveswap is pleased with what I got her. Take a look at everyone else's blogs below to see what they got; I'm looking forward to finding out (we've not told each other)!

Daisy: http://daisysays.co.uk/
Kathryn (KK): http://www.misskathrynsmisstakes.co.uk/
Kathryn (MoG): http://murderofgoths.co.uk/
Katt: http://www.fatgirlforlife.co.uk/
Kitty/Kelly: http://www.adventuresofariotgrrrl.com/
Nikki: http://www.nattynikki.com/
Sarah: https://plussizeproud.co.uk/
Sophie: http://www.busylittlefee.com/
Tanya: http://www.secretplussizegoddess.com/

Sunday, 3 January 2016

Endorsement, Influence
and Diet Culture

TW: Dieting/weight loss. There will be mentions of these subjects in this post in (what I hope will be) a tactful manner; that is, not specifically engaging with the subject, but mentioning it in relation to body positivity and it's associated impact. Basically, it's mentioned but not in a "put down the doughnut" sort of way! (Never put down the doughnut).

Bloggers, and plus size bloggers in particular, are uniquely positioned to influence their readers and their 'community' (the fatosphere). Blogging is not akin to writing a personal diary; what you say, or do not say, matters. What you choose to promote, or not promote, has influence. Whether you're followed by tens, hundreds or thousands of people is somewhat irrelevant in this context; influence is influence, no matter how big or small.

The majority of plus size bloggers choose to use their influence to promote body positivity, and most do it very well. Now, I don't necessarily mean that every plus size blogger is a body positive advocate or activist, but being a visible fat person by nature is body positive. That being said, there are still bloggers who choose to use their influence in ways that are damaging to body positivity and, inadvertently or otherwise, damaging to their readers.

The perpetuation of diet culture still exists within the plus size blogging community; a community which, by it's very nature, already receives regular doses of negative body image through every outlet imaginable. Yes; there are still bloggers who regularly promote dieting, weight loss, clean eating, fasting, acceptable fatness and the like. There are still bloggers who think it's perfectly acceptable to use their influence to inadvertently tell their readers that their body is not acceptable, that being fat is not acceptable.

Perpetuating diet culture when you are in a position of influence is not acceptable. The fact that what you do with your own body is your own choosing is neither an excuse nor a reason to share your actions in such a way that it can be potentially damaging and/or triggering to others. There are many people, including bloggers, who have evidenced that it is perfectly viable to make changes to your own physical appearance and/or health without perpetuating diet culture through their points of influence; ergo, (it is my view that) these bloggers are actively choosing to share content that promotes negative body image.

I'm not in the business of actively calling out individuals, particularly as (a) it could potentially lead to rifts within the fatosphere/plus size blogging community and (b) there are only so many times and so many ways you can tell people the same thing, but it is my sincere hope that this post will make people aware of and begin to consider their actions.

I don't write for popularity, views or financial compensation; I write to utilise my influence.

Saturday, 2 January 2016

5 Ways to be a
Body Positive Ally

TW: Dieting/weight loss. There will be mentions of these subjects in this post in (what I hope will be) a tactful manner; that is, not specifically engaging with the subject, but mentioning it in relation to body positivity and it's associated impact. Basically, it's mentioned but not in a "put down the doughnut" sort of way! (Never put down the doughnut).

We all know that this time of year isn't conducive to positive body image. We're bombarded with messages, directly or subliminally, that thousands of people have become 'fat' over the course of a few days of festivities and subsequently must do everything within their power to be 'not fat' from New Years Day (and not a moment before). We are reminded in no uncertain terms that to be fat is socially, morally and medically unacceptable. It's a travesty. It's a crisis. It's an epidemic. It's disgusting. It's wrong. It's unhealthy.

We've always had these messages, they've just become more prolific with the rise of social media and people's dire need to share every finite detail of their lives with the world. We've even reached a point now where it's frustratingly common for brands to decide that it's part of their business plan to body shame their (potential) customers; each week bring a new ill thought Instagram image dictating how X body is better than Y body and so forth. I digress; I'm sure we're all too familiar with 2015's PR faux pas by now.

Having said that, oddly, there are still many people in disagreement. People who, for whatever reason, feel the need to question people's offense, triggers and suchlike. More often than not, those who feel that it is their place to question such things, are either (a) utilising their thin privilege and/or (b) supporting damaging cultures that perpetuate poor body image (such as diet culture). Body positivity may encompass freedom of choice (to choose what you do or do not do with your own body), but said freedom does not grant you the right to question other people's choices or emotions, especially if the motives behind said questioning come from a place of privilege.

This may seem like a long and off-point introduction, but I felt that it was important to give the reasons behind this post some context; to highlight why I feel that there is a need to explain how to be (or not to be) a body positive ally. Let's begin...

1) Body positivity is intersectional, inclusive and non-discriminating. It is not just for one (or not for all) body type, gender (NB: inclusive of non-binary, transitioning and otherwise non-cis folx), ethnicity and so forth.

2) Check your privilege. I cannot stress how important it is to recognise your privilege and the lack of privilege of others. If and/or when you have privilege, it is your responsibility to educate yourself and champion the voices of those with less privilege. You should also recognise that you do not have the right to question others based on your privilege; for example, those with thin privilege do not have the right to question fat people about what they feel to be fat discrimination and so forth. That is not to say 'don't ask', but please be aware of where your question is coming from and to whom it is directed. In some circumstances it may be perfectly acceptable to ask someone a question in order to increase your own understanding, but there are several points to consider when doing so; particularly whether or not it is appropriate (remember, your education is your responsibility).

3) Do not publicly discuss dieting and/or weight loss. Asides from the fact that these subjects are part of the damaging narratives of diet culture, it's also a subject that can be extremely triggering. Dieting and/or weight loss discussion, from the perspective of undertaking the act, has no place in body positive spaces, regardless of your personal opinion on the matter. NB: Evidently there will be discourse on this subject as part of body positive activism, which should be superseded with a trigger/content warning.

4) Recognise that everyone is at their own stage of their personal journey. In fact, some may not even have embarked on it at all. From the perspective of being an ally, it's important to acknowledge that even the most 'devout' of body positive activists are not at the end of their journey, nor will they ever be (as there is no end). We (activists) have to take each day as it comes, sometimes even each hour, and we are not perfect (though it's unlikely that we would profess to be). Subsequently, we do not always have the time or the energy to fight every battle (and goodness me sometimes it really is a battle) and educate every person. Appreciate our limits as much as you appreciate our actions.

5) Mind your language. No, seriously. The language that you choose to use for yourself could be negative and/or damaging to others and, equally, the language used by body positive activists may not necessarily be appropriate for everyone. It's a difficult minefield to navigate and I'm sorry that I can't give you any straight forward answers; you just have to do the best that you can, just as we try to do ourselves. One example is the word 'fat', a word which has very much been reclaimed as a positive for many people, but for many still holds negative connotations. It's therefore equally important to (a) be aware that that describing someone as 'fat' may not always be appropriate as well as to (b) be aware that some people choose to use 'fat' as a positive word and it is not for you or anyone else to question that.

6) Do not equate body positivity with beauty. Beauty is a social construct and, whilst it's associated messages can be positive and empowering ("you look beautiful", for example), body positivity and beauty are not one and the same. Being body positive doesn't require you to look a certain way, whilst at the same time it doesn't require you to reject the social construct of beauty (if you don't want to). Unfortunately, brands are very much into selling aesthetic and normative beauty standards as body positivity; please don't fall into the same trap.