Hi folks. The fifth assignment for Love EVERY Body focuses on our stomach/waist: 'How do you feel about your stomach/tummy? Maybe it bears the marks of carrying a child. Maybe it looks different than it did years ago. Maybe an operation scar has changed the way you feel about it.'
I have a love/hate relationship with my stomach. I kind of like the squishy softness of it, but then I sometimes dislike the way it looks in some clothes and wish it was more 'streamlined'. Somewhere among the flab I have a waist, and if you pull it all to the front (yes I actually do this sometimes) I'm actually quite curvy/hourglass-like. Sometimes I wish I was curvier/more defined, so that I can be the 'good'/acceptable fat that society wants me to be, but then I get annoyed with myself for thinking such things.
I've got a lot of stretch marks, but either they're not as visible as they used to be or I don't really notice them anymore. They don't really bother me. I've probably got a few little scars, too; I hit myself with an iron once (I don't even know how). I also have a little bit of hair that goes up to my belly button, which used to bother me but not so much now. I don't like my belly button being touched because it makes me feel like I need a wee!
I remember back when I finished school, in the Summer I wore a bikini. I was smaller than I am now, probably around a size 16-18, and was just starting to develop body confidence. Although I did look different back then, I've always really viewed myself as being the size that I am now. It's a difficult thing to explain. Would I wear a bikini now? A high waisted one probably, yeah. That is if I ever went on holiday! Or even to the beach. I don't have a passport and living in London now I rarely see the seaside; not enough to warrant buying a 'fatkini', anyway.
Most of my fat is situated around my stomach and the sides. I'm not a fan of the whole fruit shape thing, but it's the easiest thing to relate to and I still find myself using it; I think if it wasn't for my massive backside I would be an apple, although my shoulders aren't narrow. I don't have much else to say on the subject really...
I kinda like my stomach most of the time these days, maybe I even love it a little.